Family Research Council
this afternoon EB and i attended an event on a new push for marriage counseling sposored by the Family Research Council who's motto is to defend family, faith and freedom. it was interesting to hear their strategies about how to reduce the divorce rate and increase the marriage rate while in the long run "saving" children from the emotional pain of divorce.
their 6 strategies include:
1. avoid bad marriage (conduct a marriage inventory and dissuade mismatched couples)
2. marriage insurance (teach communication skills and conflict resolution)
3. enrich all marriages (churches provide free saturday night babysitting service to reinvigorate marriages)
4. save troubled marriages (through mentoring and trust building)
5. reconciliation (a 12 week program for couples where one wants to work it out and the other wants a divorce. apparently a 12 week course for the person who wants the relationsip will make them more into the person god intended therefore making them irresistable to their almost ex spouse)
6. step family reconciliation (providing resources and support for these families)
now these are all good ideas in many ways, but there are some catches. for example. EB asked about marriages that are abusive and to what extent does counseling help those women who may need to get out of the relationship. the panelists responded by saying that in their programs the abuse in these relationships drops by 80%. that's great! you may only get hit or verbally harassed once every 5 days instead of every day like before. does that make it ok? afterwards i asked the pastor about that and he said that he doesn't have all the answers but that 80% is a lot better than no reduction.
another scary thing is that the new "Deficit Reduction Act" that is being signed into law today includes a funding stream in TANF that includes $100 million per year for 5 years to 1) build strong families, 2) support healthy marriages and 3) offer community support for healthy marriage. essentially providing federal funding for these religious programs. and as one panelist smugly responded, this money can't be used for gay marriage counseling even in states where gay marriage is legal because the 2nd part of the Defense of Marriage Ace (DOMA) says that for all federal programs and benefits, marriage will be defined as the legal union between one man and one woman. how convenient.
the thing that bothered me the most throughout the entire event was how these presenters and panelists were working to promote healthy marriages yet the only humor that was used was sexist and misogynistic. one speaker commented that he wished this program would have been around when he and his wife were having issues around their 6th month of marriage. He joked, "maybe it was our lack of communication, or it could have been the duty roster i posted on the fridge." ha ha ha. another man behind me made the comment that this event was already helping his marriage because last night his wife has grudgingly asked him if she had to make him a sandwich for lunch and he chipperly responsed, why no honey, there is a catered lunch tomorrow."
so anyways, it was an interesting experience but i'm very very scared.
their 6 strategies include:
1. avoid bad marriage (conduct a marriage inventory and dissuade mismatched couples)
2. marriage insurance (teach communication skills and conflict resolution)
3. enrich all marriages (churches provide free saturday night babysitting service to reinvigorate marriages)
4. save troubled marriages (through mentoring and trust building)
5. reconciliation (a 12 week program for couples where one wants to work it out and the other wants a divorce. apparently a 12 week course for the person who wants the relationsip will make them more into the person god intended therefore making them irresistable to their almost ex spouse)
6. step family reconciliation (providing resources and support for these families)
now these are all good ideas in many ways, but there are some catches. for example. EB asked about marriages that are abusive and to what extent does counseling help those women who may need to get out of the relationship. the panelists responded by saying that in their programs the abuse in these relationships drops by 80%. that's great! you may only get hit or verbally harassed once every 5 days instead of every day like before. does that make it ok? afterwards i asked the pastor about that and he said that he doesn't have all the answers but that 80% is a lot better than no reduction.
another scary thing is that the new "Deficit Reduction Act" that is being signed into law today includes a funding stream in TANF that includes $100 million per year for 5 years to 1) build strong families, 2) support healthy marriages and 3) offer community support for healthy marriage. essentially providing federal funding for these religious programs. and as one panelist smugly responded, this money can't be used for gay marriage counseling even in states where gay marriage is legal because the 2nd part of the Defense of Marriage Ace (DOMA) says that for all federal programs and benefits, marriage will be defined as the legal union between one man and one woman. how convenient.
the thing that bothered me the most throughout the entire event was how these presenters and panelists were working to promote healthy marriages yet the only humor that was used was sexist and misogynistic. one speaker commented that he wished this program would have been around when he and his wife were having issues around their 6th month of marriage. He joked, "maybe it was our lack of communication, or it could have been the duty roster i posted on the fridge." ha ha ha. another man behind me made the comment that this event was already helping his marriage because last night his wife has grudgingly asked him if she had to make him a sandwich for lunch and he chipperly responsed, why no honey, there is a catered lunch tomorrow."
so anyways, it was an interesting experience but i'm very very scared.
posted by mer at
4:19 PM
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